The last few months have felt like a building momentum. My meditations have intensified, and dream work has started to occur. A form a meditation that happens while we sleep. The thoughts, and residue lingering in the air when I wake. Lessons of shadow work, letting go of old emotional wounds, and soothing my inner child.
All of this has been a work in progress. My younger self is painful to revisit. A sad, and lonely girl, who used to ask if she was adopted because she felt different. Felt like she didn’t belong. A child who developed tactics to only be seen, but not heard. Cleaning up the mess before she got in trouble for it, and never truly feeling believed.
I wish I could go back and shelter her. Protect her little heart from the adult feelings she felt. The adult lessons she learned before she could truly make sense of them.
It is funny how experiencing pain can sometimes feel like healing. Maybe it is why I have always loved tattoos. Pain therapy. It makes me think of the expression of walking into the fire. Healing past wounds doesn’t come without discomfort. Often you are facing things, head on, that you would rather bury in the sand. Reflecting on things you used to avoid.
From that discomfort, and rediscovering myself, a newfound passion has emerged. I’ve worked as a massage therapist for 18 years. It probably look me 10, to realize I am really good at what I do. But being good at something, isn’t the same as being passionate about it.
I took a second crystals course a few months ago. It touched upon crystal healing. That is the act of placing crystals on certain chakras to help with energy flow, and blockages. When I tried reiki, it was centred around energy flow of the 7 main chakras. Opening up ones that may be partially, or even fully closed.
Consider love, for example, the primary energy in our heart chakra. When we struggle to love ourselves, or have experienced heartbreak, that chakra can become shuttered. We will guard ourselves against any vulnerability that could lead to more pain, and become closed off.
When I encounter people with physical tension, there is often an underlying emotional element to it. Clients talk of stress, too much work, illnesses, or loss of relationships. They feel the physical pain of having tight muscles, but most of what they describe is emotional.
I’ve realized that was what is missing from my practice. It was also what was missing from my own life. For so long I had focused only on physical health, like I focused on the anatomy, and muscles at work. Now I have a desire to integrate. Working with my own energy, building my meditation practice has changed my life. It has changed my anxiety levels, my overly analytical brain. It has opened my heart in a way that is palpable. I want that for others.
I have decided, in the new year, I will focus taking reiki courses until I achieve my master level. I am also planning a course on crystal healing. Crystals have brought me so much joy. I feel as though they are a tool that can help soften emotional blockages, and encourage healthy energy flow throughout the body.
Integrating massage with reiki and crystals would be such a well rounded approach to wellness. I see it as a way to relieve physical tension, and pain, while also addressing the underlying energetic, and emotional elements contributing to it.
I already know when I will be taking these courses, and am just patiently waiting for those dates to arrive. In the meantime, I am focused on my own practice, as well as tapping into channeling energy, instead of solely using my own energy during my massage work.
I’m paying attention to the signs I am receiving, trusting my intuition, and working on strengthening my inner voice.
2025 has been the wildest year of my life, and yet I wouldn’t trade it. It has brought me to a place of peace I didn’t think was obtainable. It’s a gift I am hoping to share with others. Wishing everyone a blessed New Year!
Leave a comment